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The Answer: No more years! A: Rough cut. What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Previous. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Carnac the Magnificent. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. A: Mr. Coffee. Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. A: "The Dumplings." Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. puppies and red-eye gravy. Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? Screenkey. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes? - narkive On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them A: The diamond lane. Carnac: May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bedpan. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? I forgot aboutyour total recall. Box 4, Folder 47. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these A: "Hi diddly dee." CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped contest. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The - YouTube She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. bathroom? The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Ed McMahon: Shogun. Q: Name two words that have no meaning. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. A: Blazing Saddles. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman A: The Loch Ness Monster. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Contents Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." , The Question: What would a lot of people like to do to Lady Gaga? A: Tail of Two Cities. "You Light Up My Life.". The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. Q. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales? Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. carnac the magnificent curses Line: 68 The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. Inning. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. . Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? A: Ben Gay. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers. A: Lady-in-waiting. Murine? A: Fit to be tied. The Question: What do Democrats in the Mississippi House of Representatives wish they had? Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? View all. Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. What Johnny Carson can teach us about the modern mainstream media CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your , The Question: What do you call 435 House members and 100 Senators at the bottom of the ocean. ED: Certainly worth waiting for Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? a #2 mayonnaise Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? A: Deep freeze. A: De-frost. Source of Norm's "yak on the chest" Carson impression? Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? A: Madame Kitty. The perfect Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson The Tonight Show Animated GIF for your conversation. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. Gotta be Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? Prime Video. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. Feel free to laugh, but beware! In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. A: Kaleidoscope. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. . , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. juice? girlfriend. Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. Is that about right, sir? A: Pot luck. envelopes. The answer: "Sis boom bah." A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. A: Sueeee, sueeee. Get Image Page 2 of 4 Box 4, Folder 46. The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? (croud cheers) #10. Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. . [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives Carnac: App Reviews, Features, Pricing & Download - AlternativeTo Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Star Paths Likely Guided Minoan Culture | Ancient Origins Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php doctors. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Carnac the Magnificent - Wikipedia I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? Carnac Alternatives and Similar Software | AlternativeTo compartment in your sister. NO ONE! Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? A: Ransack. Forum Novelties. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Johnny Carson's Greatest Moments From Carnac to a Python Grapple The Answer: He unfollowed Putin on Twitter. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. A: Touch and Go. The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. says? Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter It is original material for the most part. THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") Internet Forwards Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: "Here's Boomer." Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . his neck? Modern Day Curses - Monte R Anderson - Author Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. The character was introduced in 1964. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . . A: 2001. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? carnac the magnificent curses A: Short eyes. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? stops. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? . "What do you want to avoid doing when you shave her bocker? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. The Answer: They found no brain activity. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your A: The Newlywed Game. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! A: All the President's men. proctologist. (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? A: Double hernia. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Mouse over chart for play descriptions. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. A: Green thumb. The answer was always an outrageous pun. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Box 4, Folder 48. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and be sending Georgia soon? CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? Hilarious Carnac the Magnificent Puns - Punstoppable , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. A: "Small craft warning!" These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . Carnac the Magnificent - Everything2.com The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. . Or are you just happy to see me? Q: What do people always say when Howard Cosell is on? A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Carnac the Magnificent The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? The book is {\it May You! A: A thousand clowns. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? A: Chariots of the Gods. "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. TORCH: Torah Weekly Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question.

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